DUMEBI (A SHORT VALENTINE STORY)

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 I've been preparing for my val experience with Dumebi for about a week, only if I was this serious with my education. To cut the long story short, I had put things in place to please my future girlfriend whom I hope one day becomes the mother of my children.
       Feb 13, 11:30pm.
Mehn the remaining 30 minutes was like 30 years to me because I had already composed a lovely poem for Dumebi and I was also competing with myself and my fellow aspiring boyfriends, (whom I don't know) to be the first person to call her. Bang! Bang!! Bang!!! Feb 14 12:00am, I had already copied the poem to my clipboard and all I had to do was paste it and send it before calling her. Behold Dumebi's number is going though and she's not picking up so I thought to myself that she's asleep not till I opened my whatsapp and she was busy posting val updates,  boom I sent the poem to her and also to let her know that I had call and she didn't pick up. Only if I wasn't drunk in love or should I say lust, after sleepless nights of composing the poem I got the shocker of my life when Dumebi replied me with "K". As in you mean with all the romantic punchlines.
          My mumu self trying to form lover boy decided to let her know I plan on taking her out and then boom Dumebi became romantic all of a sudden and i said to myself guy you too sharp, fast forward to the date . I was already seated in a 5 star hotel an hour to our proposed time, ghen ghen I saw my beautiful and ever gorgeous Dumebi cat walking towards me and I said to myself God you're great but little did I know trouble was about to loom. She came with three of her friends and had placed several orders before I could even utter a word and all I did was play along since she'll be mine at the end of the day.
           Won ti gba penalty lo throw-in (in small doctor voice) was blasting from the speakers in the bar, as a sharp guy trying to impress Dumebi, I brought out an expensive diamond ring and went down on my kneels with smile all over my face and I romantically asked her to marry me. At this moment all eyes were on us with people already recording what was happening at the moment, suddenly a man of high class with riches and royalty written all over him walked in majestically with his two hefty body guards.
         Dumebi stood up and rushed towards him with joy to hug him and went as far to kiss him in my presence, ladies and gentlemen I felt like I should drown or kill myself at the moment and she still has to the guts to bade me bye and a thanks for the meal comment.
          3 days later, I  was sent packing due to the fact that I've squandered my house rent on Dumebi, well that's how I became homeless. Happy valentine guys


WRITTEN BY : MR KIDDAH (KOLAWOLE TIMILEHIN)