Men love women who apologise with sex after a fight —Study

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If a man wants to make amends with his
girlfriend after an argument , he should
dedicate quality time and shed a few tears
while asking for forgiveness. At least that’ s
what researchers recommend .
They, however , argue that these are not the
best ways for a woman to make up with her
boyfriend , noting that instead , she should
provide sex , as men consider sexual favours
as the best form of apology.
This was revealed in a study led by T . Joel
Wade of Bucknell University in the US .
Overall , it was found that showing emotional
commitment is the best way of reconciling a
conflict between romantic partners , but that
there are systematic differences in how men
and women prefer this to be put into practice .
The findings were published in Springer ’ s
journal Evolutionary Psychological Science .
The study was done in two parts. Participants
were first asked via an online questionnaire to
nominate specific actions that men and
women engage in to reconcile with their
partners after a fight .
These were then grouped by the researchers
into 21 categories of possible reconciliation
behaviours.
The options given by the participants in Study
1 were then given to an additional group of
men and women to ascertain which methods
were preferred or considered most effective.
It was found that men rated a partner doing
nice gestures and giving sex / sexual favours as
more effective .
According to Wade , these findings are
consistent with previous studies that showed
that men prefer a partner who is sexually
accessible .
“ Women may thereby use sexual favours as a
way to reconcile with their male partner , ” says
Wade . “ Doing so may communicate to their
male partner that they are still sexually
accessible and as such do not want to end the
relationship . ”
It was further found that women held it in
high regard when a partner spent time with
them after a conflict , apologized and even
cried to show their remorse .
“ Women may rate spending time together
more highly because this behaviour signals a
partner ’ s willingness to invest effort and
limited resources ( e . g . time ) into their
romantic pair - bond , ” explains Wade .
“ Such actions by a man may signal the
likelihood of a potentially high parental
investment which women prefer . ”
Women also rated crying and apologising as
more effective methods of resolving conflict
than men did .
According to Wade , this might be because
women view male partners who do so as
being in touch with their emotions , without
being feminine . Tears are seen as an honest
signal of grief about a rocky relationship .
“ Women may find the act of their male
partner apologising to be an effective
reconciliation tactic because it is viewed as an
altruistic act .
A man ’ s apology may redirect the cost of
romantic conflict to himself rather than to his
partner and thereby demonstrate his ability to
provide emotional support and incur personal
costs for his partner , ” Wade explains .